14 Do’s and Don’t to Help a Grieving Friend

 Practical Tips to help a friend “Heather, my friend just lost her husband, what can I do for her?” “What helped you the most after your husband died”   “I really want to do something, but I don’t know how to help?” I’ve gotten these questions from my friends, too often. I’ve struggled to answer because everyone is different in their grief, and there is no “one size fits all” answer. My answers below are based on my own experience as a wife with kids, when her husband has died, as well as my observations from clients. DON’T be...

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My Second Year, 8 things I’ve learned

Is it just me, or do you get caught off guard when you see your birth date mentioned when you didn’t expect it? You see an event on TV and you look up because you see it’s on your birthday? Or something falls on that day and you speak up and say “Hey, that’s my birthday”. The anniversary day of Jon’s death is the same way. Mark, my co-worker is taking some vacation time and it starts on December 5th. I’m thinking, wait, that’s “THE” day. The amvets pick up day postcard arrived in my mail today, and it...

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Social Status: WIDOW

Relationship status:  WIDOWED It still hits me. It’s like I’m watching someone else’s life, not mine. Not long before my husband died I observed, from a distance, a high school friend of mine and the loss of her husband. He was diagnosed with Cancer, and I followed her journey, from a distance. I was heartbroken when I saw her post on FB that he has passed away. It hit me harder than I thought it would. She was my age and has two beautiful daughters. I “liked” her posts about her girls, and even commented here and there. But...

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When JetBlue flies over

I was inspired to write this post today after watching my son play baseball. I have three kids, and two play baseball. Today my middle guy, Andrew, was sick so Mimi took him home and I was left there with Nicholas. I sat under a tree in the shade, near first base where my son was playing. They play at a local church not far from our house or the airport. He looks over at me and I blow him a kiss, he blows one back. (he’s still not too cool to show public displays of affection ) Suddenly...

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The Longest Journey, The Day I Viewed My Husband’s Body

Closure. clo·sure (klō′zhər) n.- A feeling of finality or resolution, especially after a traumatic experience. His body had finally arrived at my funeral home. I brought his clothing in for Mark and Joe to dress him. I waited at my desk and talked to Betty. Mark rounded the corner and said “he’s ready.” I remember looking at Betty, saying to her “this will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life” Betty just looked at me. Her look said it all; what do you say to a wife going in to say goodbye to...

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About Me

Hi I'm Heather Hill I am a Mom of three, sharing my experiences of becoming a widow while working as a funeral director. Share in my adventure of healing and helping. I'm just getting started, stay tuned for more content.

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